I graduated from the University of Maryland in 1990 (Go Terps!!!). I am originally from NY. This should give you an idea of what my 4 1/2 years of college cost. Yes, by today's standards this was a bargain and I met my husband so it couldn't have been a total waste. But if you asked my teens, I am the stupidest person alive. It is amazing how much I don't apparently know and they do and that they are all to eager to remind me of. "Mom you can go since the light is green!" Thank you even though you haven't taken Driver's Ed yet. "Let me set up the Wii game for you so you don't reset all of the settings." Gee, the fact that I had to program all of the VCR's and DVD's for the past 20 years doesn't count for anything. "Why does it take you so long to text me back? It isn't hard." Yes it is when I use vowels and punctuation marks. "Don't you remember that I don't EAT spaghetti? I NEVER eat it so why do you keep making it?" Why you ask my first born? Because you don't eat anything and frankly, I stopped caring. This isn't Burger King, you don't get it your way.
These are just a sampling of the daily and somewhat mundane reminders I get that I am clueless and they are omniscient. I should have known from a much earlier age that any respect that I had for my own intelligence or that others may have thought about me was doomed. It began around Thanksgiving when my eldest came home from school to tell us about the movie she saw about the Pilgrims. She proceeded to describe the Pilgrims and informed my husband and I that one of the Pilgrims in the video was African American. "Um, honey, that can't be right." "No Mom, she was. My teacher told us this was what it was like. And she knows 'cuz she is a TEACHER and she knows and you don't!" I am a history teacher. This conversation continued today as we were discussing the summer essay she has to write for her AP World History course. Once again I was informed how I don't know anything about this type of essay. I taught AP for 5 years.
I have no idea of the emotional strife that my kids go through; after all, it is different today (and did they even have cliques when I went to school because I don't understand how it is trying to fit in). The regular cries of how little I understand about friends, first boyfriends, cliques rings in my ears. After all, I skipped adolescence and went from 10 to 20 overnight while living in Utopia. When I then ask for them to tell me in my most sympathetic and caring voice, the response is an eye-roll and a stomp that I should know. Someone get the Calgon and take me away.
Pointing out to my children that I am not as stupid as they think I am - immature, possibly- results in a challenge on their part. "Okay, what is--------------? Do you know? Of course not." Well no, honey, I don't remember Physics, the 5 different types of volcanic structures (I live in Maine and don't care), or how to play the oboe, french horn, sax, etc. But can you balance a checkbook; wait, bad example as I can't either. Can you coordinate 2 kids and 5 after school activities occurring at the same time? Can you negotiate world peace between 2 fighting children? Can you tell me the historical significance of the Bhagavad-Gita or the waves of liberalism and conservatism in American History? When and where did you get your degree and can I thank whoever paid for it so I don't have to?
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