If anyone ever doubted Pavlov's theory on conditioning should observe what my 15 yr old does whenever her cell phone vibrates or that magic "happy sound." It is like the mother ship is sending a signal to the smaller ships beckoning them to come and get the signal. I don't get it. The arguments by my husband to actually pick up the phone and , gasp, talk to someone with sounds that generate from one's voice box, falls on deaf ears. To tell you the truth, I don't get it where our intentions and Pavlovian conditioning collided. I was a fortunate teen whose parents understood how important the phone was. I was lucky enough to get my OWN phone WITH my own phone number. It was for Chanukah and the plan was for my boyfriend to call me on my new phone. I probably was cursed by that act now that I think about it. For my eldest's 14th birthday, we hid her new cell phone in her room and dialed the number, just as my boyfriend did 26 years earlier. For a brief, and I do mean brief, and inexpensive moment, we were the best parents ever and all was agreed that emergency purposes and responsibility would prevail. Here is where the curse comes in with a double hex whammy (there will be many tales of the power of the mother's curse but I digress.).
As much as my parents complained about my ghastly phone use from 7:30 ish until 10:00 pm, it pails in comparison to the 24 hour connection that my daughter has with her cell phone. It is constant and continual. Her school has a no cell phone policy and the beauty of vibrate and silence allow her to communicate with her friends in schools that don't share such a policy. She can text blindfolded; she can text and eat at the same time (walking and eating is a challenge though); she can text and Facebook at the same time. I would take away her phone for all the times she sneaks it but she paid for this one and thus, I feel as though I have no right taking it.
There is also a level of blackmail involved with her using the cell phone. Actually, I am renaming this device as it isn't a phone because she NEVER answers or uses the phone aspect of it, even when it is an emergency that her panic-strickenned mother can't call her to spoil her date with her friends. I will call it the Textomatic and she is the Texteriminator. Okay, back to the blackmail. There are many times when I would like her to have face-to-face interaction with living organisms and encourage her to invite friends over, go to the movies, etc. As soon as I suggest this it is back to the Textomatic, texting everyone and their dog about when the plans will occur. When I tell her to get off the phone it is thrown back in my face that I was the one pushing her to make plans and that this is what I wanted and she is only trying to make happy. If I don't want her to have plans then I shouldn't encourage her to do so (insert eye-rolling and gasping at your leisure).
The other thing I don't get about this texting is why is it necessary to text the person sitting next to you? I have seen a group of her friends at our house together randomly texting each other. What possible emergency is going on within the span of 6 inches?
Apparently there is more that I don't get. I have explained to her that we have unlimited texting. Whoever came up with the idea of unlimited texting is both a saint and the devil. It is the cause of a breakdown of true communication but my checkbook remains intact. At a maximum, she has received and sent over 1500 text messages in a month. I can't even imagine how broke I would be if I had to pay for those messages out of our plan. Actually, I can as the 11 year old who has access to a cell phone periodically doesn't understand that she doesn't have unlimited texting and so far, I'm in the hole about an extra $100.00. Unlimited texting however has also contributed to a breakdown in communication skills. Why? Well there is another language involved which doesn't rely on verbs, punctuation, or complete sentences. No matter how many times I tell her that it costs the same and thus, she should use her writing skills to find the perfect word or phrase to capture her feelings, I get the response of a :( .
I am truly concerned about the fact that there is a generation of children who will be significantly lacking such skills as how to read body language, make eye contact, or use inflection when they talk or understand how important tone is. I am concerned that texting has taken over as the most important thing in my kid's life and yet, despite my ability to decipher text (I am more than happy to serve as a translator), I am nervous that her ability to articulate emotions without emoticons will hinder our relationship.
As much as my parents complained about my ghastly phone use from 7:30 ish until 10:00 pm, it pails in comparison to the 24 hour connection that my daughter has with her cell phone. It is constant and continual. Her school has a no cell phone policy and the beauty of vibrate and silence allow her to communicate with her friends in schools that don't share such a policy. She can text blindfolded; she can text and eat at the same time (walking and eating is a challenge though); she can text and Facebook at the same time. I would take away her phone for all the times she sneaks it but she paid for this one and thus, I feel as though I have no right taking it.
There is also a level of blackmail involved with her using the cell phone. Actually, I am renaming this device as it isn't a phone because she NEVER answers or uses the phone aspect of it, even when it is an emergency that her panic-strickenned mother can't call her to spoil her date with her friends. I will call it the Textomatic and she is the Texteriminator. Okay, back to the blackmail. There are many times when I would like her to have face-to-face interaction with living organisms and encourage her to invite friends over, go to the movies, etc. As soon as I suggest this it is back to the Textomatic, texting everyone and their dog about when the plans will occur. When I tell her to get off the phone it is thrown back in my face that I was the one pushing her to make plans and that this is what I wanted and she is only trying to make happy. If I don't want her to have plans then I shouldn't encourage her to do so (insert eye-rolling and gasping at your leisure).
The other thing I don't get about this texting is why is it necessary to text the person sitting next to you? I have seen a group of her friends at our house together randomly texting each other. What possible emergency is going on within the span of 6 inches?
Apparently there is more that I don't get. I have explained to her that we have unlimited texting. Whoever came up with the idea of unlimited texting is both a saint and the devil. It is the cause of a breakdown of true communication but my checkbook remains intact. At a maximum, she has received and sent over 1500 text messages in a month. I can't even imagine how broke I would be if I had to pay for those messages out of our plan. Actually, I can as the 11 year old who has access to a cell phone periodically doesn't understand that she doesn't have unlimited texting and so far, I'm in the hole about an extra $100.00. Unlimited texting however has also contributed to a breakdown in communication skills. Why? Well there is another language involved which doesn't rely on verbs, punctuation, or complete sentences. No matter how many times I tell her that it costs the same and thus, she should use her writing skills to find the perfect word or phrase to capture her feelings, I get the response of a :( .
I am truly concerned about the fact that there is a generation of children who will be significantly lacking such skills as how to read body language, make eye contact, or use inflection when they talk or understand how important tone is. I am concerned that texting has taken over as the most important thing in my kid's life and yet, despite my ability to decipher text (I am more than happy to serve as a translator), I am nervous that her ability to articulate emotions without emoticons will hinder our relationship.
Loved your post! 2 out of 3 of my teens have gone much more than 2000 texts in a month! And, I've learned to text so I can communicate with them when they're out with friends so they don't (God forbid) need to answer a call from Mom!
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